


Before I say goodbye, my star in the sky

by detectivemeer



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Death, Episode: s05e10 Status Asthmaticus, F/M, Ghosts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-02
Updated: 2015-09-02
Packaged: 2018-04-17 19:42:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4678934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/detectivemeer/pseuds/detectivemeer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I don't want to go back."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Before I say goodbye, my star in the sky

**Author's Note:**

> just a sappy lil thing to vent some scallison feels (when will those two release me istg)  
> title from "Fourth of July" by Sufjan Stevens

“I don’t want to go back,” Scott says. He’s crying and he knows it but he can’t really feel it, like he can’t really feel anything. He tilts his head to look at toes, bare on the cold ground, and wiggles them.

“I know,” she says. He wants to ask if she can feel her toes, but it seems silly. He looks up at her-- _God_. His chest seizes and he can’t feel the tears but that gut-tightening, nose-prickling heat washes over him and it’s a miracle he doesn’t fall to his knees, sobbing.

“You’re so beautiful.” He can’t help the words, they fall out of him, but he wouldn’t take them back if he could.

She laughs and touches the tips of her fingers to his hairline, brushing a tweaked curl behind his ear. “So are you.”

He blushes, or at least he would if he could, and bites his lip, fighting hard not to look away. Allison leans forward and fits her mouth over his. He knows it’s there but there’s no sensation, her lips aren’t warm or cold, soft or firm. They stare at one another, so close their eyes are blurry, crossing in and out of focus.

She pulls away and they giggle. “Sorry,” she says. He reaches out for her hand and they play a sort of finger-Jenga, fitting their hands together to give the appearance that they’re touching.

“Don’t be. Ghost kissing isn’t even the weirdest thing I’ve done all week.”

“You’re such a liar,” she laughs. She keeps doing that and everytime he feels a tug at his heart. She really is beautiful, but not in the way she always was, there’s something bright that’s bursting out of her grinning mouth. Happiness, maybe. Hopefully.

“I miss you,” says Scott, his voice a skipping record.

Allison’s eyes go soft, sad. “I miss you, too. But I’m not very glad to see you.”

“Are you okay?” he asks, because he has to know. “Is this…”

“I’m not really a ghost, in the traditional sense.” Her face scrunches and they share a _the supernatural is so weird_ , look. “I’m only here for you, this isn’t where I exist anymore.”

“Me?”

“Of course.” She drifts closer, so the corners of their shoulders fade together. “For me, it was my mom.”

“Oh.” Scott swallows and glances at his dead body. Mason’s shaking over him, trying to stop bleeding that has already stopped.

“You have to go back. They need you, Scott.”

A sword, a fistful of claws to the gut; her words cut into him. He curls in on himself. “They don’t,” he admits, ashamed. “I failed them all. I--”

“Scott,” she says, so tenderly, stepping in front of him, forcing their gazes to meet. “They need you. They need you so much more than any of you know.” She places both her hands on his cheeks. It’s like her skin is hovering a millimeter away from his, no matter how close they get. “I know you’re tired. And I know you’ve given so much already, more than anybody should. I’m so sorry, but Scott, you have to go back.”

“I don’t _want_ to,” he does sob, now, and it hurts, it _hurts_. The truth spills out of him, blood hot on his tongue and unstoppable. “I don’t want to. I just get people killed, I got you killed and all these kids, the chimeras, and it’s just more bodies and death and it’s on me, it’s on me and I know it and I still can’t stop it. This is best. This is best, I can’t go back, they’ll hate me and they’ll be right and I hate me, _I_ hate me, I just want to stop--I just want--I want to--” The words snare in the barbed-wire panic wrapped around his throat. He can’t breathe, not really, so his chest just heaves and heaves, useless.

“Oh, Scott. Scott, it’s-- _fuck_ , this fucking noncorporeal bullshit--Scott, close your eyes. Trust me, okay? Close your eyes.”

He does.

“Remember when I hugged you? It can be any of the times, just remember really hard, as best as you can. I’m hugging you, you feel it? That’s me, my arms and my hands, and you’re hugging me back.” Allison’s arms, strong, thin, warm, curled around him. Allison’s hands pressing flat along his back. Allison’s words soft in his ear, her breath even softer, the smell of her--jasmine and lilies--and her heartbeat, fluttering, the sweetest sound in the world. “You’re going to be okay, Scott McCall. I know you’re in pain, and I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry for that. But this world needs you. You didn’t get me killed. I know that. And I’m not--what happened, happened, okay? There’s no taking it back. You just have to look forward. They won’t let you through, Scott, not yet. But when they do, and you’re a hundred and whatever, I’ll be here. And I’ll give you a real hug and you’ll feel it, I swear. And you’ll tell me all about your beautiful life and I’ll show you around your new place. But you have to go back first. You have to go back and save them and _yourself_. You have to be good to yourself. Please. You hear me? This is me telling you. You gotta, okay? You swear it?”

“I swear.” _I love you, I love you, I love you, don’t go, don’t go, don’t go._

She’s smiling. He swears he can feel it. “I’m with you. I’m always with you. You have to go now.”

“Please,” he whispers, fingers clenching, unclenching on air. “Please, just a minute longer. Just one.”

“Okay,” she says, after a beat. “Just one.”


End file.
